Therapist Truths
Starting therapy can ironically be one of the most anxiety-provoking experiences, despite its purpose being to reduce stress and improve mental health. The process of finding the right therapist can feel overwhelming. The reality is, there aren’t enough therapists available to meet the demand, which means securing an appointment might already feel like a victory. But then come the hurdles: paperwork to complete, schedules to coordinate, and the nerve-wracking anticipation of meeting someone new.
When the first session finally arrives, it’s natural for questions to flood your mind: Who is this person? Will they judge me? Will they be kind? Or my personal favorite: Will I even have enough to say to fill an entire hour—or will I just bore them? These thoughts are common and valid.
So, what is it like to start a journey with most therapists, including me? Let’s break it down with some truths:
Truth #1: Therapists Are Human Too
Yes, we have tools and strategies to navigate difficult emotions, but we’re still human—just like you. We have our own struggles, and believe it or not, we also get nervous before a first session. You’re a stranger to us too. After more than two decades of being a therapist, I still feel a twinge of anxiety when meeting a new client for the first time. So, if you feel nervous walking into that first session, know you’re not alone. We’ll sit in that nervousness together and figure things out as a team.
Truth #2: Therapists Can’t “Fix” You
Therapists don’t have magic wands. We can’t solve your problems for you, nor can we make you change if you’re not ready or willing. As much as I wish I could instantly fix every issue my clients face, that’s not how therapy works. Instead, we act as guides on your journey, offering evidence-based tools and strategies to help you gain clarity and make meaningful progress.
A big part of what we do is help you recognize patterns in your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. For example, while your feelings are always valid, they may sometimes lead you to interpretations or assumptions that don’t align with reality. By reflecting on how your week went and how you interacted with others, we work together to challenge feelings-based thinking and build healthier perspectives.
Truth #3: Therapists Make Mistakes
Even with years of experience and training in evidence-based practices, therapists are not infallible. Life is complicated, and people are even more so. There are countless variables that shape a person’s journey, and because of this, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. Sometimes, we might try an approach that doesn’t work as planned.
What makes a good therapist isn’t perfection but humility—being willing to admit when something didn’t work and pivot to try a different strategy. Therapy is a collaborative process, and your feedback plays an essential role in shaping our approach.
Truth #4: You Can Fire Your Therapist
No matter how skilled or experienced a therapist is, they are not the expert on you. You are. Not every therapist will be a good fit, and that’s completely okay. You won’t click with everyone you meet in life, and therapists are no exception. If you feel that the relationship isn’t working or the dynamic isn’t helpful, bring it up.
A good therapist won’t take it personally—instead, they’ll want what’s best for you. They may even help you find someone who’s a better match for your needs. Remember, this is your journey, not ours. Your voice matters, so speak up and advocate for what you need.
Final Thoughts
Starting therapy can feel daunting, but it’s also a courageous step toward growth. A good therapist understands how vulnerable and uncertain those first few sessions can feel. We’re here to walk alongside you, not to lead or push, but to empower you to uncover your own strength and navigate life’s challenges in a way that feels authentic to you.
So, take a deep breath and know this: we’re in this together.
